First Impressions
I grew up in a quiet suburb south of Atlanta. Everyone from home calls it "The Bubble" because nothing bad ever happens; crime is low. Families flock there for its safety. It is a beautiful place to grow up, but it is sheltered.
When I was told I would be paired with an international student this semester, I was excited but nervous. I wracked my brain to try and remember another time I had an interaction with someone my age who had grown up in another country. I came to the realization that all my friends were born in America or had lived there most of their lives. For some reason I felt a sudden twinge of anxiety. Would I be able to interact with someone so different from me? Would I be able to successfully communicate my thoughts to her in a way that made sense? Would we even have anything to talk about? I feared she would not like me, or she would find me confusing. I tried to push aside my doubts and be bold. I logged onto the zoom call.
The sweetest face popped up on my screen. It was Jingwen. I was surprised to see she wore pretty much the exact same thing I do every day, a plain T-shirt. We started out hesitantly with small talk and polite greetings. I found out she moved to America during the fall of last year. I was blown away with her ability to speak English so well. She was modest, but I assured her I did not know a single word of any other language. Not even five minutes into our conversation Jingwen told me that many Americans have stereotypes about Chinese people. She informed me that people here think China is dirty and poor. She quickly dispelled the rumors. I got the sense that she was trying to defend herself and her culture to me. It made me sad that she just assumed I also had those same negative thoughts about her country.
“China is not like how you think it is; It is better”
Jingwen told me how she misses her parents and friends from home greatly. I asked her if she was happier in China or in Auburn. She said China. I thought back to my freshman year of college and how incredibly homesick I was. I only live one state away, not continents away. Jingwen video chats with her parents every single night. Among the many things she misses, the biggest was Chinese food. Her eyes lit up, and I just watched her talk passionately about how Americanized Chinese food is nothing like authentic Chinese food. I couldn't help but wonder if I was thrown in a faraway land, would I talk about my mom's cooking like this?
After the initial get to know you questions, we both became more comfortable. Without even realizing it, I strayed from my list of prepared questions and let the conversation wander. As teenage girls tend to do, we talked about boys. Jingwen told me that in China boys prefer slim and pale girls. However, in America boys seem to like tan girls with "hot, sexy bodies". I agreed with her on that one! She confessed that American boys were more attractive because they go to the gym and have muscles. Out of curiosity I asked her what her ideal type of boy would be. Without hesitation she asked me if I had heard of Tom Holland, Spiderman. Of course I had! I agreed that he was definitely cute.
“Tom Holland is the hottest actor I have ever seen!”
I laughed because I was shocked to hear her say that; I'm not sure what response I was expecting. I found myself smiling and getting caught up in our celebrity gossip. It felt like I was talking to my friend I had known for a long time.
Despite talking about boys and friends, we also touched on deeper topics. I asked what her view of America/Americans were before she got here. She was hesitant to answer, but I assured her she could say anything even if it was bad! After hearing her answer, I asked if her perception had changed after living in America. It made me sad to discover that although her views improved, they were still not what I had hoped. She told me she was lonely. She thinks that American boys would not want to be with Chinese girls. In that moment I wished that I could take away all the prejudice and injustices in the world. After hearing people get upset, it is an involuntary reaction of mine to try and relate to them. I found myself admitting it was hard to meet new people in college with the pandemic, and that my boyfriend and I had just broken up last week. As soon as I shared this, I wished I hadn't. I wondered if she would comprehend what I said, or if my personal life would make her uncomfortable. To my surprise she began to console me. She assured me I was better off without him and would have no problem finding someone new. I was shocked with her ability to connect with me. Human emotion truly is universal. However, I felt guilty for dampening the mood. I tried to make Jingwen laugh by telling her what his GPA was. As soon as I did so, she laughed, and this time not only did she reassure me, but she PROMISED me I could do better.
Time got away from me, and I discovered we had been talking for an hour. That is a long time to have a conversation with anyone, let alone someone you just met.
I apologized for taking up so much of her time. However, she did not seem to mind. Before leaving the call, I asked if she had any social media. She gave me her Snapchat, and said we could communicate on there.
This is her Snapchat avatar
After logging off, I felt a new sense of understanding. No matter where you are from, everyone has experiences that make them so unbelievably relatable and human. Our ability to connect with people we have only just met will always amaze me. Today started out like any other day, but ended with a new friendship. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to be in Jingwen's shoes. I hope that I am never the source of anyone's alienation or sadness. I wish all students had this unique opportunity to learn from others.
